We all have doubts at some time in life … will I be the favorite of mom or dad?
When we are young and another child is on the way, there is a fear on the part of the first-born son of being left without due care from his parents. Many times he is told that he is going to be the role model for his little brother. And it is normal that, when the time of the second baby is born, the little one is given a little more attention since he is the weakest in the house and needs more care. Because of this, the older child may begin to think that they are no longer the preferred child.
It is natural for parents to have more affinity for one of their children. It may be that it is identified more by character or gender, normally the father will prefer the daughter and the mother the male.
Preferring one or the other is human and perfectly understandable. The chances of being the preferred child consist of many factors, both physical and psychological. Suppose that we had great affection for our grandmother and our son came out with eyes identical to those of the grandmother, that is one of the great factors from which preferences come.
Normally, the first-born has the preference over most of the parents since they were the first to receive all the attention. Hence the weakness for the youngest children, in which case the older ones are the ones who end up being discriminated against.
There will be times when the oldest is allowed to go to sleep a little later than the youngest, and while the youngest feels they are not the favorite, parents often perceive this difference as perfectly normal. In these cases, the ideal is that parents seek to mediate preferences for their children in equal parts. It should be noted that equality should not be based on material things, but rather on the attention devoted to the needs of each child. In this way, parents can maintain a good psychological balance between siblings.
What to do with our preferences?
Ultimately, we must accept before ourselves who we have the most preference for, so that we can focus on which child needs more support. It is necessary that, as parents, both accept that this situation exists so that they can mediate between their children without committing injustices. Many times the solution is instinctive. Tell all your children how much you love them, spend quality time alone with each of them. Listen to them and talk, find how to distinguish each one and do not generalize their behavior. Never compare them, nothing good will ever come out! And, if one gets into trouble, make sure they get scold or punish without their brother seeing it, no one else has to find out what happened.